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SOMEBODY HELP ME. This is freakin madness. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know HOW DO I MAKE MY HEART STOP. I am just confused. Really, really, really confused. There are signs everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Do I believe in it? Ugh. I just want my feelings for you to fade. DON’T GET ME WRONG I KNOW WE CAN NEVER BE. BUT I’M DYING TO ASK IF SOMEONE LIKE YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME.

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December 29, 2013 · 3:39 am

Hey sky

This would be everything I want to say to you if I had the strength. Wait, before you read this, please forgive me that I’m not that much of a writer. I don’t even know how to play with my words and somehow paint a captivating or breath taking scenery to the readers. See, even that was a bad metaphor. So, I’m sorry.

Something’s been happening to me. I think I’m going out of my mind. My heart has traveled far away from my mind that they don’t meet at any point. My thoughts are twisted. More twisted than my insides when this person talks to me. Let’s just name this person as sky. So, sky has been talking to me a lot lately.

I’ve met sky way back. I’ve looked up to Sky before. With all the powder blue colors and soft clouds that keep me company as I lay down in the itchy backyard I was placed together with other girls my age. Sky had a smile, had something that always showed me happiness, and joy. It’s probably my only decent memory of childhood. And for sometime I fell asleep looking at Sky. And found the daisies cushioning my head better. They were very pretty and fragile, and even though with one blow, the petals drifted far from each other. I wanted to become the flower. So I was. Until one windy day, I found myself lying down in a different backyard, with different flowers. But I saw Sky looking down on another little girl. That little girl was familiar.

Rings a bell. There. She was the one who held me, she watered me one day. Sky saw me and remembered. After years, Sky gave me the reply I was waiting for when I was a little girl.

Going back to now, to what’s happening. I am hurt. Hurting. Is this even right, acceptable? What am I feeling? Because this person always talks to me about her. Only her. Sometimes I do cry to her about how sometimes the-world-hates-me. But I feel like I’m temporary. If this person stops liking her, will I still be in this person’s picture? Maybe. Maybe not.

It’s me. I’m always going to be this way. People will treat me like this. And I can’t change that because I’m a terrible friend if I stop being there. So I’ll always be here.

Hey Sky, I’ll still be looking at you. Stay clear and bright! When it rains, know that, I won’t be the girl anymore, nor the flower, or even the petal.

I’ll be the whole land that will catch you and soak everything, every drop of water. So that it won’t be too heavy up there. Rain on me. I’ll be fine.

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November 16, 2013 · 7:48 am